Was I excited?

As word began to get out among my friends and colleagues about my pending sabbatical in France, the most often asked question was "am I excited?".

My immediate reaction at the time was actually "no".  That isn't to say I was excited or that I was dreading my adventure, of course not.  It just wasn't the emotion that was top of mind for me.

Of course not being able to live up to expectations gave me pause for thought. :)  Even Dan seemed to be more excited for me than I was.  After some discussion one evening I landed on the word trepidation.

Trepidation: Merriam-Webster defines the word as a nervous feeling of uncertain agitation.  Ok, thats a bit more negative than I felt.  But the idea of uncertainty and agitation resonate with me. The agitation is the positive part, the exciting part for me.  A new adventure for sure and the fulfilment of a dream.  The nervous feeling is self explanatory and not altogether foreign for such an adventure.

So all in all, not the expectation of most people.

So I peeled another layer.  By the time people were finding out, the plan had been in motion for months.  New news to you, old news to me.  When I first decided to bounce the idea around with the HR team, that was nervousness.  What if they said "no"?  What if they said "yes"?  That was the exciting part, leaving the office that day knowing that it was a possibility.  I had to finalize and fine tune the plan I had presented, but the idea itself was met with support.  This is good news!  That was exciting!

It reminded me of when I decided to leave Ford all those years ago to join Nissan.  Making the decision, during the interview process with Nissan, that I would say "yes" if they offered me the job; meaning I had to then turn around and tell Ford that I was leaving. That was the hard part.  The opportunity then became very exciting.  The time after that was relatively easy as the machine was now in motion.

Once all was set and the plan agreed to with work for my sabbatical in France, it was simply a matter of following the plan. The ship had left port so to speak.  For me it was old news.  Something that had been going on for months.  For all of you it was brand new and exciting!

Just like it was for me once I asked and once a plan had been agreed to.  So yes, it is exciting!